Saturday, May 13, 2017

Jokes about Marriage

1.Is it not strange that the "best man" at a wedding is not the bridegroom? This must be the reason of so many unhappy marriages.
2."Gracious! What on earth did he marry her for?" "Oh, he said he wanted some one to amuse the children!"
    Love me, lady!
      My hair is gray;
    When round comes pay-day
      I cannot pay.
    My corns are awful,
      My prospects shady,
    I want a comforter:
      Love me, lady!

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Alice's Superlative Mistake

Curiouser and curiouser!’ cried Alice (she was so much surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good English); ‘now I’m opening out like the largest telescope that ever was! Good-bye, feet!’ (for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of
sight, they were getting so far off).

What is Alice's mistake? Write your answer in Comments below.

The Desert

When Webster defined a desert as a “dry, barren region, largely treeless and sandy” he was not thinking of the 50,000 square mile Great American Desert of the southwestern United States and northern Mexico. Most of it is usually dry and parts may be sandy, but as a whole, it is far from barren and treeless. Heavily vegetated with gray-green shrubs, small but robust trees, pygmy forests of grotesque cactuses and stiff-leaved yuccas, and myriads of herbaceous plants, the desert, following rainy periods, covers itself with a blanket of delicate, fragrant wildflowers.
Edmund C. Jaegar, author of several books on deserts, reports that the California deserts alone support more than 700 species of flowering plants.
The late Dr. Forrest Shreve, for many years Director of the Desert Laboratory of the Carnegie Institution near Tucson, Arizona, defined a desert as “a region of deficient and uncertain rainfall.” He divided the Great American Desert into four major sections: (1) Chihuahuan (chee-WAH-wahn), including the Mexican States of Chihuahua and Coahuila (coa-WHEE-lah), southwestern Texas, and south-central New Mexico; (2) Sonoran, including Baja California, southwestern Arizona, and northwestern Sonora; (3) Mojave (moh-HAH-vee), Colorado, including south-eastern California and extreme southern Nevada; (4) Great Basin, including Nevada, Utah, southwestern Idaho and southeastern Oregon.
Since the steppes and mesas of the Great Basin Desert have generally lower temperatures, higher elevations, and greater precipitation than the other three sections.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Love/Matrimony Jokes

3.A DEFINITION.--Flirtation: a spoon with nothing in it.
4.ADAGE BY A YOUNG LADY.--Man proposes, but mamma disposes.
5.BY A BEASTLY OLD BACHELOR.--A married man's fate (in brief).--Hooked, booked, cooked.
6.DESCRIBE A HOME-CIRCLE.--The wedding ring.

Monday, May 1, 2017


Camping in the Forest
Look at this story about a camping trip. Find the mistakes and correct them.

The grade 5/6 students were in school and teacher told them, the bus is already here and let's go camping because we have to leave at 9:15 am. So, the students went to the camping place and they put their camping backpacks on the top shelf inside the bus. The location is Cheif Hector Camp. Then they arrived at the Cheif Heactor Camp and they started putting their camping backpacks down and taking things out of them.

 Suddenly a student said “What if a bear would come out and eat us?" “It would not eat you if you did not touch it." the teacher said. "Ok everyone, let's get the things going and let's see where we are going to sleep." the teacher said. " It's getting cold out here! Let's make the fire pit." the teacher said. So the students went to grab some sticks and stones. Then the students went to wash their hands when the fire pit was done and everyone sat around it with sticks of marshmellows. The teacher began to tell a scary story to them. Then they slept in the long houses near the camp. The long houses  were divided into two sections. At the end of the next day the students went packing. Finially the bus came and drove them back to school. 

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Monkey Island

Nanwan Monkey Island is a state-protected nature reserve for macaque monkeys in Lingshui county on the south coast of Hainan, the southernmost province of China. While termed an island, the reserve is actually on the Nanwan peninsula bordering the Xincun harbour on the east and south. It is accessible by China's longest over-water cable car from Xincun, spanning 2,138 metres .
Since the nature reserve was established in 1965, the reserve has become a popular tourist destination. It is now home to approximately 2,000 monkeys. The reserve, totalling 1,000 hectares, is China's largest area for raising and training monkeys.

Key words:
1.      Approximately
2.      Reserve
3.      Span
4.      Peninsula
5.      Destination
6.      Accessible
7.      Tourist
8.      Cable
9.      Border
10.  Established

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Pronoun Task

Choose the correct form in the following sentences. Punctuate properly.
  1. Yourself /you and John were mentioned
  2. She told Mary and me/ myself to go with her/ herself.
  3. The book is for you/ yourself and I/ me/ myself.
  4. Henry and I/ me/ myself are in the same class.
  5. He thinks you/ yourself and I/ me/ myself should bring the books.
  6. Our friends and we/ us/ ourselves are going out tonight.
  7. Herself/ she and her husband have been sick.
  8. They/ themselves and their children have gone abroad.
  9. You play the violin better than he/ himself.
 10. The machine failed to work well, because it/ itself and the engine were not properly adjusted to each other.
 11. Let them do it theirselves/ themselves.
 12. He came by hisself/ himself.
 13. The teacher hisself/ himself could not have done better.
 14. I'll bring my gun, and you bring your'n/ yours/ your own.
 15. That book is his'n/ his.

Friday, April 28, 2017

Compound Personal Pronouns

 The COMPOUND PERSONAL PRONOUNS are formed by adding self or selves to certain of the objective and possessive personal pronouns. Ex: herself, myself, itself, themselves, etc. They are used to add emphasis to an expression. Ex: I, MYSELF, did it. He, HIMSELF, said so.  They are also used reflexively after verbs and prepositions. Ex: He mentioned HIMSELF, He did it for HIMSELF.
The compound personal pronouns should generally be confined to their emphatic and reflexive use. Do not say, MYSELF and John will come, but, John and I will come. Do not say, They invited John and MYSELF, but, They invited John and ME.
The compound personal pronouns have no possessive forms; but for the sake of emphasis own with the ordinary possessive form is used. Ex:I have my OWN book, Bring your OWN work, He has a home of his OWN.
 There are no such forms as hisself, your'n, his'n, her'n, theirself, theirselves, their'n. In place of these use simply his, her, their, or your.