1. What key in music would make a good officer? – A sharp major.
2. What is worse than raining cats and dogs? – hailing omnibuses.
3. What is that which every living person has seen, but will never see again? – Yesterday.
4. Why is a stick of candy like a race-horse? – Because the more you lick it the faster it goes.
5. What is the longest word in the English language? – Smiles, because there is a mile between the first and the last letter.